Scottish Catholic Observer

It happened again last Sunday. We arrived at Mass, late, flustered and tried to sneak in without anybody noticing. It felt like we were making a huge commotion at the back of the church, taking off our jackets, bringing Aodhan out from his buggy, and giving him a collection of his favourite toys.

Just trying to get in and get settled felt like being at the centre of a Broadway spectacle. I gave him a drink, which he threw on the floor. The toys followed just after. Based on the first five minutes this might be the longest Mass of my life.

I never really paid much attention to kids making noises in church—until I had a baby of my own. But now that my almost two-year old comes to Mass with me on Sunday mornings, every gurgle and squeak booms around the church, especially when they’re coming from my own row.

Very rarely has Aodhan ever properly cried during the service but he’s been pretty loud at times. However, I try nor to let this stop me from taking him to mass in future. I know it’s very important to bring children to Mass from an early age, so that they grow up knowing it is an important part of their life. For the duration of most Masses, my toddler fusses and moans and has to be repeatedly stopped from walking up and down the aisle. To the kind people who give a reassuring smile when my son is screaming and causing a scene – thank you so much. You make me realise that it is more important for me to continue to take Aodhan to Mass than be put off by those who give me glaring stares.

That said, taking a baby to church is not for the faint hearted.

I’ll be honest, it is easier to make excuses to not to go to Mass because of the hassle it causes with a baby. Don’t get me wrong, when we go, I am always glad that we went together as a family. But I do get stressed out by the whole situation. Trying to keep a baby happy and quiet at the same time is hard work. Since my son turned one he just wants to walk everywhere and kicks up a fuss anytime we don’t let him wander about. So, it is extremely hard to keep him on my knee and entertained. Thankfully, there are lovely people in our row that pull silly faces or play with him and make him laugh. Apologies again to the man in front of us who got a bouncy ball launched off the back of his head last week. I appreciate the fact you just started laughing and handed it back to Aodhan. I don’t know if I could react so calmly to an unexpected ball thrown at the back of my head while listening to one of the readings. But, sadly there are some people who are clearly irritated if he grumbles or lets out a cry.

I really wish I could remind these people to think back to when they were a child and their parents took them somewhere they found boring, a place where they weren’t allowed to run about and had to keep quiet. Now please can you picture a baby who doesn’t even understand why he needs to keep quiet and can’t run around crazy like he normally does. I completely understand that people want to listen to the liturgy and not be distracted by noises in the church. Admittedly, I am equally annoyed when somebody’s mobile phone starts ringing and you can’t hear anything. But what I cannot get my head around is the intolerance some Catholics show towards fellow parishioners who are just trying to attend Mass as a family each week. To those who have flashed a stern glare at me when I’ve had a noisy baby, yes it encouraged me to take my son out of church for a bit, but it also made me feel that I didn’t want to come back in from fear of him annoying people again. Is that really the message we want to send to people with children?

In some churches I have visited they have a clear Perspex box at the back for families with young children to sit in. This way you can hear what’s going on from the speakers but your baby is free to walk around a bit and have a play. I think this is a great idea and one that all churches really should opt into, as I believe it will encourage families with young children to go every week without the fear of the baby kicking off. It would make everybody’s life that bit easier, for those parishioners who want to hear everything the priest is saying and for parents who want to take their children to church stress-free.

I will always aim to take my son to Mass when I can but I do hope in future churchgoers become a bit friendlier. I must reiterate, I am in no way having a go at those who welcome young children to Mass. However, I do think a small minority are guilty of making parents feel uncomfortable because their infant is making a bit of noise.

As attendances at Mass are dropping, I think it is even more important to welcome families into the church. The babies some are rolling their eyes at are the future of the Catholic Church and it is crucial they are brought to Mass every week, even if they can’t sit still for an hour.