Scottish Catholic Observer

When Glasgow man Bill Carlton received an e-mail late on Thursday August 30 this year, he had no idea that what he was about to read would have such a joyful, lasting and moving impact on himself and his wife.

Awaiting him in his e-mail inbox was a message from an East Kilbride woman, Áine Fahey, who introduced herself as somebody that Mr Carlton and his wife, Alison, had fostered during the first weeks of her life, 42 years ago.

Although a very welcome piece of news, the initial introduction was, in itself, not extraordinary, given that the Carltons had fostered a number of babies in the first weeks of their lives before—at the age of around six weeks—the babies were either taken into adoptive care or returned to their mothers. There is always the possibility that a former foster child will be back in contact in future years, with the hope of tracing back the earliest years of their life. It was, however, when Mr Carlton continued reading the e-mail and Áine explained that she became Áine Boyle after leaving the Carltons’ care that something began to click that would prove to be even more extraordinary.

Little did she realise that she had made contact with the man who had not only been her foster father but her adoptive father’s best friend from a young age.

‘It was after 11pm at night and I replied to Áine, thanking her very much for getting in touch, but I needed to ask her if her adopted parents were called Don and Maureen,” Mr Carlton told the SCO.

Leaving Áine his phone number to get in contact with him, Mr Carlton awaited her reply with anticipation. He did not receive a response that night, nor did he get much rest.

“I never slept at all that night,” he said. “I left a copy of Áine’s e-mail on the table for my wife to read, which she got to the next morning.”

When Mrs Fahey telephoned the Carltons the next day and informed Bill that her adoptive parents were, indeed, Don and Maureen Boyle from Hamilton it left him in a state of shock and disbelief.

“I didn’t just know Áine’s parents, it turned out that she had been brought up by Don Boyle, my best friend growing up,” Mr Carlton said. “At that time [of adopting Áine] he was in Hamilton and I was in Glasgow and we were both bringing up families. We weren’t going out together or seeing each other often but I would pop in and see him from time to time. I knew he and his wife had adopted a girl and the name Áine sounded very familiar to me when I first read the e-mail.”

When Áine was just a few weeks old, Mr and Mrs Carlton had taken her to be Baptised at St Gabriel’s Church, Merrylee Glasgow.

St Gabriel’s—which is still the home parish of the Carltons—and the Sacrament of Baptism were both to play key roles in the reunion between Mrs Fahey and her foster parents.

In 2005, in her mid 30s, Áine, who knew from a young age that she had been adopted, decided that she wanted to find out more about her earlier life.

“At that age I really wanted to know things about my past, it had been a long time,” she told the SCO. “I think fear was the only thing that was stopping me from finding out.”

She recalled that—during a lunch break from work—she made a call to the then St Margaret’s Adoption Society, and from her research of documents with the society discovered for the first time that she had been in foster care prior to her adoption.

“I wasn’t even thinking if anybody had fostered me, I was looking for birth information,” Mrs Fahey said. “The names, Mr and Mrs Carlton, were there though, written on my file.” It was also noted that Mrs Fahey had been Baptised on November 15 at St Gabriel’s Church and had been sponsored by Ellen O’Neil.

“I was told that it was quite unusual for a foster baby to be Baptised,” she said.

The news that she had been fostered and Baptised, however, ‘lay dormant’ with Mrs Fahey until she had a son, Elliot, who was born in 2011.

“My son, Elliot, was Baptised in March of this year and he was Baptised in what came to be my father’s parish, St Anne’s in Hamilton,” she said. “My father died 12 days after my son was born, which was a great sorrow and loss for me because it took me a long time to become a parent so for one of my parents to die just after I had become one was a great sorrow.”

Witnessing the Sacrament of Baptism being bestowed on her son, however, was a deeply moving and emotional feeling for Mrs Fahey.

Almost immediately she recalled that she, herself, had the privilege of the same experience all those years ago, courtesy of her foster parents, and, at that point, decided she needed to try and reunite with the couple who had cared for her in the first weeks of her life.

“I think what hit me then was the thought that somebody who was my foster parent had taken enough time and interest in me to actually have me Baptised in my birth name, despite the fact that I have gone on to be somebody else, that was incredibly important to me,” Mrs Fahey said. “It was an incredible acknowledgement of a mother and her child.

“After I had my son Baptised—and it was very immediate—I wrote to Fr Michael Woodford [parish priest at St Gabriel’s], the thought to do so hit me like a thunderbolt.”

Mrs Fahey was delighted when Fr Woodford was able to inform her that there was a Mr and Mrs Carlton in his parish and was very receptive to the idea of Mrs Fahey making contact with them.

‘It sends a shiver down my spine, my jaw drops every time I think about how remarkable the story is,” Mrs Fahey said of finding her foster parents and them knowing her late adoptive father.

After making contact by e-mail and telephone, Mrs Fahey arranged to meet the Carltons. Also present when they met for dinner were Mrs Fahey’s husband, Mike, Elliot, and her adoptive father’s second wife, Betty, Áine’s stepmother, following the death of Maureen in 1996.

“It was as if we had know each other all our lives,” Mr Carlton said. “I got on like a house on fire with young Elliot, who was sitting beside me in his high-chair.

“It was strange to know that I had met Áine before, but each of us had not known at the time who the other was or thought that we would have such a connection with each other.

“I remember Áine reading at her father’s funeral Mass but to me I did not know who this was, other than the person reading at that time.”

The Carltons, who were foster parents for a number of years—in addition to raising three children of their own—could never have imagined that the baby girl who left their house 42 years ago would now be enjoying sharing her life stories with them, and, in particular, sharing the joy of bringing up her own baby boy.

“I would never have thought something like this would have happened,” Mr Carlton said. “Everybody I meet and tell the story to says it is incredible, ‘you could not make that up’ they say to me.”

He added that the story represents a reunion in more ways than one.

“It is a reunion that Áine met us as adoptive parents and it is a reunion that she has met her dad’s pal.”

Áine added: “I cannot quite believe that of all the foster parents that I could have had in the world I had my dad’s best friend.

“That connection for me is quite phenomenal.

“People say ‘it’s a small world,’ but for me it’s not just a small world but—with regards to this particular matter— a world driven by higher powers.”

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